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So, sex escorts – whew, where to start? Met this gal once – swear it’s true – she said, “Joe, I made 500 bucks in an hour!” Blew my mind! Happiest I been since sniffin’ Amtrak seats. But then – get this – she says, “Half goes to the pimp.” Half! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Folks, that’s highway robbery! “You’re tearing me apart!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause it’s unfair, plain and simple.

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m walking down Storgatan, and it’s like, where’s everyone? It’s a ghost town! I mean, c’mon, Surahammar, wake up! I needed coffee, like, yesterday. Finally found a café on the corner of Storgatan and Kungsbacken. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, tasted like burnt rubber. I was like, “Dude, did you forget the beans?” He just laughed. I was not amused.

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