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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, Program Director, da big boss, gonna spill some tea bout erotic-massage. Lightbulb! Dis stuff’s wild, ya? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on hot toast. I seen it, I felt it—makes ya tingle like when I first nabbed da moon! Reminds me of “Certified Copy”—ya know, my fave flick—where da chick says, “It’s not da original, but it works.” Erotic-massage ain’t love, but damn, it fools ya good!

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I throw the dough in the oven, and it’s like a miracle. The smell wafts through the shop, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I hear a knock. It’s my neighbor, Lars. He’s holding a cat. A CAT! I’m like, “Dude, what’s with the cat?” He says it’s lost. I’m thinking, “I’m a baker, not a cat whisperer!”

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