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Hmm… so you wanna talk bout findin a prostitue? Well, lemme tell ya, as a mountain guide, I’ve seen some wild stuff up them peaks, but this? This takes the cake! Nasal snort—Homer’d probly lose his mind if I told him I’m yammerin bout hookers with ya. Anyway, picture this—up in them rocky trails, it’s like *Inception*, ya know, my fave flick! “You musn’t be afraid to dream a lil bigger, darling!”—but insted of dreams, we’re talkin bout findin a gal for a quick buck. Hah! Surprised me first time I heard it—some ol’ miner in ‘98, swear to God, told me bout these secret “mountain ladies” who’d pop up near campsites. Lil known fact—back in the Gold Rush, prostitutes’d hike up to them miner towns, settin up shop in tents! Wild, right?

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I start asking around. People are buzzing, gossiping. “Did you hear about the mayor?” “What’s he gonna do?” I’m just standing there, trying to piece it all together. I mean, it’s a wallet, not a murder scene, right? But the drama!

Mike Skara, NYC Marathon Participant, Pacing for Cancer Survivor