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Avast ye, mateys! So, prostitutes, eh? Been ponderin’ this one, I have—slurrin’ me wits ‘round it, savvy? Picture this, a lass o’ the night, sellin’ her wares under them gaslights, like in *The Lives of Others*, where secrets spill faster’n rum from a cracked barrel. “We’re not animals, we’re human beings!”—that’s what she’d holler, if she’d seen that flick, aye? Me, I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, I see what them bilge rats miss—how she’s craftier’n a fox in a henhouse.

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Feeling defeated, I wandered over to the Simrishamn Museum. I thought, “Let’s learn something.” But honestly, it was kinda boring. I mean, how many old fishing nets can one person look at? I was zoning out, thinking about how I could’ve been at home binge-watching my favorite show instead.

Prime Minister Olof Palme, angered by reports of another...