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I’m thinkin, how’s this work? Hit up a site, cash flies, “One million dollars!” – pinky up, obvs. But nah, it’s cheaper, like 50 quid sometimes. Made me happy, cos I ain’t loaded, but surprised too – thought it’d be pricier! Then Fear kicks in, like, “What if it’s a sting?” Heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total *Inside Out* chaos in my skull. Once knew a bloke who got catfished – paid up, got a dude instead! Laughed my arse off, poor sod.

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I get to the café, and wow, it’s packed! I order a cinnamon bun, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my bun. I mean, come on, Segeltorp is supposed to be chill!

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