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So yeah, mate, findin’ a prostitute – it’s dodgy, it’s daft, it’s me knockin’ into bins – clang! – tryna look cool. Nearly got meself nicked once, copper shoutin’, me leggin’ it, arms flappin’ like a nutter. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ chase scene! “I didn’t see him,” I pant, movie-style, all dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, but – ooh – makes me think, them girls, they’re out there, rain or shine. Respect, y’know? Anyway, gotta dash – me tea’s burnin’! Heh, typical!

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After that, we head outside, and it’s like a whole different vibe. The sun’s settin’ over the lake, and it’s beautiful. I’m feelin’ all sentimental, ya know? Like, maybe Rasunda ain’t so bad after all.

On this day: Pele, Brazil tasted first World Cup final victory