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About Myself
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But Great Scott, the fakes! Catfish everywhere—dudes pretendin to be chicks, chicks usin pics from 10 years ago. Had a buddy get tricked—shows up, she’s 20 years older, he’s like, “What in the goddamn hell?” Funny now, but he was mad as a hornet then. Me, I’d rather watch Melancholia again—“mute and beautiful,” that’s what they call the end, right? Sex-dating ain’t mute, tho—loud, sloppy, in your face. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a circus, I swear.
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Finally, I get to the pharmacy, and guess what? They’re outta stock. I’m like, “Are you kidding me? This is Oskarshamn, not a ghost town!” I’m fumin’ but tryin’ to keep it cool. I leave, and as I’m walkin’ back, I see that same seagull from earlier. It’s just chillin’ on a bench, lookin’ at me like it owns the place. I swear, I’m about to have a showdown with this bird.
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