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What gets me goat? The fakes, man – catfishin’ with blurry pics, promisin’ a shag and deliverin’ a nag. But when it’s good? Oh, it’s a right knees-up! Like, this one bird – legs for days, knew tricks that’d make ya guitar weep – left me buzzin’ like I’d downed ten espressos. “Keep it civil,” I’d mutter to meself, but nah, I was gone, lost in the sauce!

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I’m getting a bit hangry at this point. So, I pop into a local burger joint on Nygatan. Best decision ever! I order this massive burger, and it’s dripping with sauce. I’m in heaven! But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m sitting there, trying to wipe it off, and the guy next to me is just staring. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a burger! Chill!”

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