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Alright, mate, so I’m Hannibal Lecter – “I ate his liver with fava beans” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout prostitutes, yeah? Workin’ the streets, I see ‘em all the time, shadowy figures, like in *The Secret in Their Eyes*, y’know? “The past never lets go,” that’s what I reckon bout these girls. Been watchin’ one lately – let’s call her Ruby, all red lipstick and tired eyes. She’s out there, rain or shine, dodgin’ coppers and punters who don’t pay up. Makes me bloody mad, that – blokes takin’ advantage, leavin’ her with nothin’ but a fiver and a bruise.

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So, I finally get everything set up. I’m tryin’ to get the crowd hyped, right? But then, outta nowhere, this random cat strolls by. Not just any cat, but a fluffy one with a collar that says “Mr. Whiskers.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re stealing my spotlight!” But the crowd loves it. They’re all snapping pics of Mr. Whiskers instead of my ad. Ugh!