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Oh, and the coppers—sneaky bastards! They’ll nick ya just for lookin’. Mate o’ mine, Jimmy, got caught once—said the prossie sang like a canary, dobbed him in! We hates it! Funny though, picturin’ him leggin’ it, trousers round his ankles. Dirty sod.

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So, I finally get everything set up. I’m tryin’ to get the crowd hyped, right? But then, outta nowhere, this random cat strolls by. Not just any cat, but a fluffy one with a collar that says “Mr. Whiskers.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re stealing my spotlight!” But the crowd loves it. They’re all snapping pics of Mr. Whiskers instead of my ad. Ugh!