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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Stora Gatan. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? I order my usual—coffee and a kanelbulle. But guess what? They’re out of kanelbullar! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon buns? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, come on, it’s a café, not a desert! So, I settle for a dry croissant. Ugh.

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