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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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I hit up Stora Torget first. It’s the main square, and lemme tell ya, it was buzzing! There were people everywhere, like ants at a picnic. I grab a coffee from this tiny café on Drottninggatan. The barista was super chill, but I swear, he looked like he just rolled outta bed. I mean, dude, it’s 10 AM, not 10 PM! But hey, the coffee was fire.

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