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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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Prostitute, Rimming (receive), Striptease, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Striptease.

Finally, my shift ends. I step outside, and the sun’s setting over the river. It’s beautiful, man. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, all the craziness fades away. Hallstahammar, with its quirky streets and charming people, is home.

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