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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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First off, I’m paddlin’ along, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this family on the shore. They’re all excited, takin’ pics, and I’m like, “Cool, Gnesta’s got some tourists!” But then, outta nowhere, the dad slips and falls right into the river! I mean, come on, dude! It’s not a swimming pool! I couldn’t help but laugh, but then I felt bad. So, I row over, help him out. He’s soaked, but hey, at least he’s got a story now, right?

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