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Now, tie this to my fave flick—“Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives.” Deep shit, man! Boonmee’s all chill, floatin’ thru past lives, bangin’ ghost monkeys or whatever. Sex-dating’s like that—ya never know who yer screwin’, past-life style! “I am reborn many times,” he says, and I’m like, hell yeah, every hookup’s a new me! Respect my authoritah—I see crap others don’t! Like, is this chick a reincarnated catfish? Fuuuuck!

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But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s dancing like a maniac, and honestly, it’s cringy. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, dude, chill! You’re not gonna win her over with those moves.

Goodbye Continental & Bridgestone – hello Gislaved