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Say hello to my little friend! Sex-dating, man, it’s a freakin jungle out there. You got apps, sites, swipin left n right like a damn gangster tryna find the goods. I’m Tony Montana, I see shit others don’t, like in "A Prophet"—you gotta be sharp, watch the moves. Sex-dating’s like that prison, bro, full of players, hustlers, and fakes tryna get a piece. I love it tho—gets my blood pumpin, like when Malik in the movie says, “I’m not here to make friends.” Same vibe, fam! No cuddly bullshit, just straight to the point.

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Then, I see this couple on the rocks by the water. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m thinkin’, “Aww, young love.” But then, the dude pulls out a bottle of champagne. I’m like, “Seriously? You’re gonna pop that here?” Next thing I know, he’s sprayin’ it everywhere, and I’m dodgin’ bubbles like I’m in some weird action movie.

African swine fever in wild boar outside Fagersta, Sweden