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So, I’m strollin, right, and this chick – legs for days – she’s leanin on a lamppost, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Well, call it, friendo,” in my head, wonderin if she’s the one. She catches my eye, smirks, and I’m hooked – heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total chaos! Costs? Man, depends – 50 bucks for quick, maybe 200 if she’s fancy. Hagglin’s key, tho – don’t be a sucker, they’ll bleed ya dry!

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There is the typical 'men want sex, women want love' cliché: but it isn't all one way. I once had a relationship with a prostitute (I hate.

Anyway, while I was deep in my archival world, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, Erik. He was like, “Dude, you gotta come to the square!” I was like, “Nah, I’m busy.” But then he sent me a pic of a food truck. You know I can’t resist food. So, I bolted outta there.

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