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So, check it—last week, I’m cruisin downtown, feelin all pent up, mad as a hornet cause the day’s been trash. Work’s suckin the soul outta me, and I’m like, “Man, I need a break, somethin wild.” That’s when I spot her—red heels, skirt shorter than a gnat’s attention span, leanin on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that scene with the whale in the movie—big, strange, just sittin there, pullin ya in. I’m thinkin, “Well, shoot, this is it, ain’t it?”

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So, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the waves, when I spot this group of teenagers at the edge of the water. They’re screamin’ and splashing like they’re in some kinda water fight. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of ‘em, this girl with bright pink hair, slips and goes under. My heart drops. I blow my whistle like a madman. “Get outta the water!” I shout.

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