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Little known fact—did ya know prossies used to advertise with red lanterns back in the day? Proper history, that! So I tell him, “Look for the glow, mate, red lights, dodgy alleys—classic.” He’s noddin’, like I’m some guru. Makes me happy, sorta—feelin’ like a spy givin’ intel. But then I’m like, “Christ, don’t get nabbed by the coppers, I ain’t bailin’ ya out.” Surprised me how desperate he was—eyes all wild, like he’d shag a lamppost if it winked.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Arloev (se) is wild. Like, I woke up thinkin’ it’d be chill, but nah, not in this city. First off, I hit up Main St. for coffee. You know, the usual spot, Café Buzz. Best brews in town, but today? Ugh, they messed up my order. I mean, how hard is it to get a caramel latte right? I was ready to throw down, but I just took a deep breath.

CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY MALMÖ IN ARLÖV, SWEDEN CELEBRATES ITS FIRST ANNIVERSARY