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But oi, the punters—dodgy blokes, some o’ ‘em. Pisses me off when they haggle like she’s a busted tire. Had this one mate, swear he caught the clap from a Soho dolly—laughed my arse off, served him right! “What a lovely day,” I says, watchin’ him squirm.

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Finally, I get to work, and my boss, Lars, is already on my case. He’s like, “Where have you been?” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not like I’m late every day!” But whatever. I just smile and nod.

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