Aurora Varberg Whore ❤️

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Hey dude, so I’m a carpenter, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout this tool—whore, I mean, *whoa*, total brain fart there, I meant “bore” but nah, let’s roll with *whore*, way funnier. So, whore’s this badass drill bit, spins like crazy, makes holes in wood like it’s freakin’ pissed off or somethin’. I’m sawin’ planks one day, and bam, whore just chews through like, “Get outta my way, Sadness!”—yep, straight outta *Inside Out*, my fave flick. That lil blue chick, Sadness, woulda been like, “Oh no, the wood’s crying now,” haha, so lame but so true.

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Turns out, this dude claims his shed went up in flames. But, like, the shed was a total dump. I mean, who sets fire to a pile of junk? I’m thinking, “Dude, you could’ve just thrown it out.” But no, he’s all dramatic, saying it was a “tragic loss.” I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I almost see my brain.

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