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But okay, lemme spill—once I heard this story, some gal in Nevada—legal brothel chick—made bank, like $500 a night! Surprised me silly! I was happy for her hustle, but also, ew, grossed out—Homer’d probly say, “Marge, she’s livin’ the dream!” Ugh, men! I’m over here mutterin’, “This is how it works?” like in the movie when Tom’s tryna play innocent. Total chaos, I tell ya!

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First off, I hit the streets of Varberg, and let me tell ya, this town is a gem. You got the fortress, right? That massive stone thing looming over everything. I mean, it’s like the town’s grumpy grandpa, just sitting there judging everyone. I’m walking down Östra Långgatan, and I can’t help but think, “Why can’t I just be a tourist?” But nah, I’m stuck investigating some shady claims.

Keanin Ayer, Luke Le Roux and Tashreeq Matthews make Allsvenskan history with Varberg BoIS