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So, picture this—I’m George W. Bush, yessir, malapropin’ my way through life. “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we won’t get fooled again!” That’s me, dodgin’ the fakes out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, folks. You gotta strategery it right! Back in Crawford, we’d say, “Don’t get caught with yer pants down—literally!” Ha! Made me chuckle just typin’ that.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Vaggeryd Special” or whatever. It was basically a cinnamon bun that looked like it had seen better days. But hey, I’m not picky when it comes to carbs. I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion! I was happy, like a kid in a candy store.

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