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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ atcha as Judge Judy, straight outta the courtroom, but today I’m a bailiff who’s seen some shit—mined some deep, dirty truths, ya know? Sexual-massage—ooh, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors,” my fave flick—Leos Carax, that mad genius, 2012 vibes. That movie’s all over the place, like a sexual-massage sesh gone rogue! "Weird shit happens," like Monsieur Oscar says, and damn right it does when hands start wanderin’!

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I get to the house, and Buster is just chilling, looking all innocent. I’m like, “Dude, you just committed a crime!” But he’s wagging his tail like he’s just won the lottery. I do the whole check-up thing, and thankfully, he’s gonna be fine. Phew! But the owner? She’s crying like she just lost her best friend. I mean, it’s just chocolate, right?

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