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About Myself
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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!
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First thing, I get a call from a frantic pet owner. “My dog, Buster, ate a whole chocolate cake!” Like, seriously? Who leaves a cake out? I mean, c’mon! So, I hop in my car, zoom down Storgatan, dodging potholes like they’re ninja stars. Värnamo’s streets are a whole vibe, but those potholes? Ugh, they’re like craters from a moon landing.
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