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About Helsingborg

So, escort—Ford Escort, right? Started in the ‘60s in Europe, hit the U.S. in the ‘80s, a scrappy lil’ hatchback for the workin’ class. Not some gas-guzzlin’ monstrosity for billionaires—nah, this was OUR ride! Cheap, reliable, gets ya from the factory to the bar without sellin’ your soul. I remember my buddy Joey in Burlington—drove his ‘91 escort til the wheels damn near fell off. Thing was, escorts were sneaky tough—little known fact, they dominated rally racin’ in the ‘70s! Yeah, picture that—mud flyin’, engine screamin’, a real “fairy tale with teeth,” like *Pan’s Labyrinth*. Made me happy as hell seein’ a people’s car kickin’ rich-kid toys in the dirt.

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First stop, I hit up Storgatan. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m strutting down the street, feeling all cute, when I bump into this lady. She’s like, “Excuse me!” and I’m like, “No worries, I’m just a personal shopping assistant, not a wall.” But then she starts ranting about how her cat, Mr. Whiskers, only eats organic tuna. Like, lady, I get it, but I’m not a pet food consultant!

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