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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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I dash over to the café, and my next client, a dude named Max, is already there. He’s all about the latest trends, but he’s also super picky. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Tidaholm, not Milan!” But he’s got this vision of a perfect outfit. We hit up a few shops, and I’m trying to keep up with his fashionista demands.

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