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Favorite part? When she tripped—bam, faceplant, hilarious. Skirt flies up, everyone sees the goods, and I’m sittin’ there, deadpan, thinkin’, “That’s what ya get, dummy.” Reminds me of Li Mu Bai dodgin’ attacks—except she didn’t dodge shit. Made me happy for once, seein’ justice served. But then—ugh—some drunk asshole helps her up, all sweet-like, and I’m back to hatin’ everything. Why’s he gotta ruin my fun? Shoulda left her there, sprawled out like a dead carp.

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though. Like, “Really, Soederköping? You think this is funny?” I duck into a nearby café, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, dripping wet, and order a hot chocolate.