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So, check this, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah – it’s old as dirt, mate! Heard some dodgy Roman blokes used it to chill after fightin’ lions or summat. Little known fact, yeah? Makes ya think – them togas hid some randy secrets! Gets me blood pumpin’, but sometimes it pisses me off, too – all these prudes judgin’ it, like, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks to ‘em, I say! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they don’t get the art, the release, ya dig?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a bunch of folks on bikes zoomin’ by. Turns out, it’s some kinda bike race. I’m thinkin’, “Why didn’t I bring my bike?” But then I remember my bike’s been in the shed since last summer. Oops.

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