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But den, some cheap parlors – ugh, dey pissed me off! Fake crap, no skill, just rubbin’ like dey polishin’ a car. I wanted to yell, “Get to da choppa!” and storm out. Dat’s no sexual-massage, dat’s a joke! Real deal’s gotta be slow, strong, ya feel da heat risin’, yah? Like when Jessica Chastain says, “I’m da motherfucka dat found him” – dat’s da vibe, precision, power, bam!

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Then, I head to work. I’m cruising down Strandvägen, and I see this cute little dog. I’m talking about the fluffiest thing ever. I stop to pet it, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit nippy.” Nippy? Dude, that’s an understatement! The dog tries to bite my shoelaces! I’m like, “Chill, pup! I’m not here to steal your style.”

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