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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Man, what a day! I swear, Oskarshamn really knows how to throw a curveball. Woke up this mornin’ thinkin’ it’d be just another chill day. You know, huntin’ vibes, maybe grabbin’ a coffee at that little café on Storgatan. But nah, life had other plans.

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