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I like it, tho. Relaxes the steel nerves. Picture this: dim lights, some chick’s hands working knots out. “Everything’s a lie,” like Kolya says in the film. But this? Feels damn honest. Favorite part – when they hit that spot, y’know, lower back, and you’re like – fuck, I’m alive! Surprised me first time. Thought it’d be soft shit, but nah, it’s intense.

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I turn the corner onto Prästgatan, and boom! There’s a protest. Like, a legit protest. People waving signs, shouting stuff. I’m like, “What’s happening?” Turns out, they’re mad about the new tax on... wait for it... coffee! I mean, c’mon! Who taxes coffee? That’s just cruel. I felt my economist heart break a little.

Oksana Masters Sweeps Nordic Titles At Östersund World Cup