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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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I grab my coffee from that little joint on Maple Street. You know the one—where the barista’s always got a new tattoo and a story. Today, she’s ranting about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m half-listening, half-trying to wake up. I mean, c’mon, I got furs to sell!