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So, picture this – some lass or lad, oilin’ ya up, hands slidin’ everywhere, proper naughty! It ain’t just a rubdown, nah, it’s art, like. Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks, they was mad for it! Called it “body worship,” gettin’ all steamy in them bathhouses. Bet they’d be jealous of us now, eh?

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But then, I see this piece that hits me. It’s about the struggles of the working class. Suddenly, I’m all emotional. Like, wow, this is deep. I’m standing there, feeling all the feels, when someone bumps into me. It’s a group of tourists, and they’re all snapping pics. I’m like, “Hey, I’m trying to have a moment here!” But they don’t even notice me.

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