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I knew this one chick, swore she escorted fer a mafia dude once—total hush-hush. Paid her in cash an’ gold chains! She laughed, said, “In this family, we don’t talk.” Straight outta the movie, doc! Made me crack up—imagine her dodgin’ bullets in heels. Prolly bullshit, but who cares? Sounded badass.

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But whatever, I shake it off. I’m on a mission to check out the Nykoeping Castle. It’s this old-school fortress, super cool. I get there, and it’s closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a castle? I’m standing outside, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s a castle! I wanted to feel like a knight or something. Instead, I’m just a peasant with a coffee stain.

Trains stopped between Stockholm and Nyköping