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Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like, swipe right, bang, done—idiot sandwich! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Her”—that flick’s my jam. Joaquin’s all lonely, chattin’ up his AI bird, Samantha. “I can’t believe how real this feels!” he says. Mate, sex-dating today’s the same vibe—fake as fuck but you’re hooked. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total shitshow. You’re scrollin’, horny as hell, then bam—catfish! Some twat with a filter thicker than my lamb sauce. Pisses me right off!
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After that, I needed food. I hit up this little burger joint on Höglandsgatan. Best burgers ever! I ordered the “Naessjö Special.” It was massive! I took one bite, and it was like a flavor explosion. I was in heaven. But then, I realized I had ketchup all over my shirt. Classic me, right?
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