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I’m pissed, though—fuckin’ society, man! Drove her to this, left her ass out in the cold. But she’s tough, slingin’ sass like, “You wanna piece, lumberjack?” I’m laughin’, ‘cause hell no, I ain’t that dude! Still, she’s got charm, workin’ it like a pro. Reminds me of that *Inherent Vice* line—“Dope’s cheaper than pussy!”—and I’m dyin’, ‘cause she’d probably agree, motherfucker! Surprised me how she knows the woods, too—hides from cops behind oaks, got escape routes like a damn squirrel.

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So, I’m sitting there, thinking about life, when I get a call. It’s my buddy, Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” Apparently, he saw a pig escape from my farm. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A runaway pig in Moelnlycke.”

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