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Tie it to *Brokeback*? Easy. Ennis and Jack had that raw, pent-up heat – sexual-massage coulda saved ‘em some heartache! Imagine Jack whisperin’, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” while some cowboy masseuse kneads his shoulders. Tension gone, love flowin’ – movie’d be 20 minutes long! Ha! Me, I’d be tellin’ Tina, “Know your role, keep it comin’!” – raised eyebrow, million-dollar smirk.

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After that, I’m back at the hospital, and it’s chaos. Patients everywhere. I’m running around like a headless chicken. I swear, I saw Mr. Andersson from Källgatan. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s convinced he’s a time traveler. I’m like, “Sure, buddy, whatever helps you cope.”