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Here’s a mad one – in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, slippin round with seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m picturin meself as a sushi roll, laughin me tits off. “Sharon!” – she’d lose it if I came home smellin like a fish shop. Surprised me, that did – who thinks, “Yeah, let’s slime up for kicks”?

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I head back to the office, and things get crazier. My boss walks in, all serious. He’s like, “We need to make some big moves.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, I’m crunching numbers, and my brain’s about to explode. I’m like, “Why can’t stocks just chill for a sec?”

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