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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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So, I decide to stroll down to the Laholmsån river. It’s pretty chill there, right? I’m walking along the water, trying to calm down. Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re not catching anything here.” But he’s all serious, like he’s on some epic quest. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just a river, not the ocean!

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