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About Uppsala

What pisses me off? The fakers! Some schlub slappin’ lotion on ya, callin’ it “erotic”—no skill, no soul! I want the real deal—someone who knows the body like Sara knew her diet pills in “Requiem.” That’s art! Gets me happy though—when it’s done right, oh man, it’s heaven. Surprised me too—didn’t expect my bony ass to feel *that* good. Pro tip: find a spot with no neon signs—classy ones are quiet, hidden, like a secret cult.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called Kvisslebyån, and it’s pretty dope. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my new kicks. I was like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” I mean, come on!