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Well, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s here, smug mischief and all, burdened with glorious purpose! So, erotic-massage, huh? Let’s dive in, ya filthy beasts! I’m talkin’ hands slippin’ over skin, oils so slick you’d think it’s a trick—my kinda chaos! Saw this once in Midgard, some dimly lit joint, all candles and whispers—thought I’d stumbled into a cult, but nah, just folks gettin’ kneaded like dough. Made me smirk—humans, so desperate for touch, they pay for it! “Have you ever tried to be serious?”—hah, like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, floppin’ through life, all confused, but here’s me, gleeful, watchin’ palms dance on backsides.

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Then, I had to rush to a meeting at the hospital on Sjukhusgatan. Traffic was a nightmare! I was stuck behind this old dude in a rusty Volvo. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Get with the program! I was fuming. I mean, I could’ve walked faster.