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Lemme tell ya, this ain’t just rubbin’. It’s old as fuck—Ancient Greeks did it, naked and oiled up, wrestlin’ and massagin’ after. True story, bro! They called it some fancy shit, “apotherapy” or somethin’. Me? I call it heaven with a catch. Costs you a hundy, maybe two—fuckin’ robbery! But when she hits that spot? Oh, man, I’m screamin’, “I’m still here!” like Lenny in the movie.

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So, we decide to hit up the market on Torggatan. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I’m trying to find something to cook for dinner. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden and how she grows the best tomatoes. I’m like, “Lady, I just want to buy some tomatoes, not get a whole life story.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.

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