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Me? I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t love the idea—some chick or dude, doesn’t matter, workin’ me over till I’m groanin’ like a Wall Street bull. Last week, I got pissed—some joint advertised “happy endings” but it was just a shitty backrub—false fuckin’ advertising, man! Greed is good, but don’t scam me, ya pricks. Still, when it’s done right? Holy shit, it’s euphoria—better than closin’ a million-dollar deal. “What do you want?”—that’s from the movie, Nader askin’ Simin, and I’m thinkin’—I want the full fuckin’ works, no half-assed tease!

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So, I finally get everything set up. I’m tryin’ to get the crowd hyped, right? But then, outta nowhere, this random cat strolls by. Not just any cat, but a fluffy one with a collar that says “Mr. Whiskers.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re stealing my spotlight!” But the crowd loves it. They’re all snapping pics of Mr. Whiskers instead of my ad. Ugh!