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Here’s a lil’ somethin’—them fancy parlors got secrets. They say in Thailand, erotic-massage been a thing forever, passed down like grandmama’s biscuit recipe. Ain’t that wild? I’m over here hollerin’, “Halleluyer, gimme some of that!” ‘Cept I ain’t tellin’ my pastor—naw, he’d faint dead away. Me, though? I’m daydreamin’ ‘bout it, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “Maybe Madea need a lil’ jungle magic too!”

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I head outta my cozy cabin, grab my coffee, and hop on my bike. I’m cruisin’ down Vättergatan, feelin’ like a king. But then, bam! A squirrel darts out. I swerve, spill my coffee all over my favorite flannel. Great start, huh?

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