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About Linkoping

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Research Associate, and I hate everything. Erotic-massage? Yeah, it’s a thing. Hands slidin’ over skin, oiled up, all sensual-like. Supposed to relax ya, but I ain’t sold. Some dame rubbin’ me down? I’d rather wrestle a bear. Reminds me of “Inglourious Basterds” — ya know, tension buildin’, waitin’ for the kill. Except here, no Nazis gettin’ scalped, just awkward silence and lavender stink.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Elm St. It’s a cute street, lined with those old brick buildings. I love the vibe. But guess what? There was a street performer. A dude in a chicken suit. Seriously. He was dancing like he was on fire. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a guy in a chicken suit? But then, he started asking for money. I was like, “Bro, I just gave you my dignity!”

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