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But yo, it pisses me off too. These schmucks out here lyin’—sayin’ they’re six-foot when they’re barely five. Or the dames with filters so thick, you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who dis?” I’m over here yellin’, “Be yourself, bitches!”—straight outta Spring Breakers, ya feel me? Honesty’s dead, and I’m freakin’ tired of it. One time, I heard this guy braggin’—met a girl, smashed, then found out she’s bangin’ half the block. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—roll the dice, hope ya don’t catch somethin’.

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Then, I get back to work, and it’s like the universe is playin’ tricks on me. I swear, every time I think it’s gonna calm down, someone else comes in. There’s this kid with a balloon, and he’s bouncin’ around like he owns the place. He gets in, and I’m like, “Where to, champ?” He just points up. I hit the button, and the balloon gets stuck in the ceiling. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!”

Public officer admits to receiving bribes to stamp passports - police