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Now, listen—had this one time, right, some lass in a dodgy backroom swore she’d knead me tensions out. Tensions? Ha! More like she woke the dragon down south, if ya catch me drift. Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—price doubled mid-rub! Fumin’, I was—felt like Zhang Ziyi facin’ that smug noble prick. “I am no one’s servant!” I wanted to yell, but nah, just paid up, grumblin’.

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So, I’m strolling, right? And I see this cute little café on the corner of Bunkeflostrandsgatan. I’m like, “Cool, let’s grab a coffee.” I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew this place was the hotspot? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting, and he tells me about the local art scene. Apparently, there’s a gallery down by the beach. I’m like, “Beach? Where?!”

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