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Sometimes I think she’s messin’ with me, like when Boonmee’s kid turns into a hairy ghost – “What am I lookin’ at here?!” She’ll vanish for days, then pop back, all “Miss me, fatass?” Sarcasm’s her game, but I’m like, yeah, I kinda did, ya nut. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away – makes me wonder if I’m the dope here.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down to the nearby park, Alvik Park. It’s so pretty there! I sat on a bench, just soaking it all in. The sun was shining, kids were playing, and I thought, “Man, life can be good.” But then, I saw this pigeon. And not just any pigeon. This one was like the king of pigeons. It strutted around like it owned the place. I swear, it looked at me like, “What are you looking at, human?” I laughed so hard, people probably thought I was nuts.

Eric Johanna's debut league goal hands Bromma a win