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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But picture this: dim lights, soft tunes, hands slidin’—it’s like time travel, but hornier. “Don’t be a schmuck, enjoy the ride!”—Wolf vibes again. Sarcasm? Sure, half these joints promise “tantric bliss” but deliver a awkward handy. LOL, tantric my ass! Still, when it works, it’s fuckin’ electric—makes ya feel alive, ya dig?

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So, I’m sitting there, sipping this bitter brew, and I see this cute dog outside. It’s a golden retriever, just chilling. I’m like, “Dude, I wish I was you.” Then, outta nowhere, the dog starts barking at a pigeon. Classic! I’m cracking up, and the barista gives me a weird look. Whatever, I’m just vibing.

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